I do believe in GOD. But...

GOD...
I used to wonder who this Person is. But before I could find out myself I was told that this is the person who created the world, who created life, who created you, who created me, who created everything and controls everything. I could not belive... this world is so big, how did this single person manage to create this big world, these many people, these many wonderful things around me. I dont know anything about this person, I dont even know the gender of this person who knows everything. How does he manage these many people, how does he punish or reward good and bad, how good he his to give me everything even without asking for it, how bad he is in not giving me what I wanted. The list of incredible things about this person kept increasing in my diary and I had no other choice to leave everything to him. My God will take care of me. He will take care of me.
Later, by his mercy when I was able to use little part of my brain, I used to think.. Hmm... One of my friend says his god is Jesus and he is powerful, the other one says his god is Allah and he is more powerful. If some one asks me "Who is your God"... oh my God, what will I answer, I have so many gods in my religion, which one should I choose to answer. Before answering the question, I have to decide myself who is powerful among all the gods in my religion. Oops I am stuck. But sooner I was taught that there is only one GOD and people use their own names to call him. But that still raised an unanswered question "If there is only one god, then why is there a fight to find out who is powerful"
Days went on. I used to go to him for everything I wanted and which I didnt wanted. But soon too many questions came in to my mind which could anger my parents but i couldn't resist asking them. If god knows everything and can control everything, why are there bad people, why can't he make everyone good. why is there poverty, why can't he make everyone rich. Why are people dying of hunger, why can't he give food for everyone. Why are people fighting with each other, why cant he make them love each other. There were too many questions. and i had no problems in finding out answers for each one of them. But even after finding out answers for all the possible questions which came to my mind about God, I am not able to figure out who exactly he is.
One day i found him out from nowhere, I decided to test him to find out if he is the real god or the real god is somewhere else. I could see myself that if he decides he can create anything or destroy anything, he is more powerful than anything else, he can make me feel rich, he can make feel poor, he can me love others, he can make me good or bad, he can make me help others, he can make me others rich, he can make me what i want, he can punish me for all my faults, he can encourage me for all the things which I wish for, he can help me come out of my difficult situations, he can apprecaite me when I did something good, he can give me strength when I need it, he can give me life when I lost it, he can walk with me for the entire life of mine, he can make my life as beautiful as love. He knows everything about me and I can not hide anything from him, even if I mange to hide it from anyone else. He knows me well even when I am not in my sense. He knows everything I do and will punish me or reward me for sure for my actions. But just that I have to trust him for whatever he says and he used to tell me the truth always. I thought this is enough and if I still dont start believing in him after these many proofs I wont believe in anything in this world. So atlast I was convinced that someone named GOD is there who knows everthing and who can control everything. I started believing in the GOD whom I found out. This person with the name of GOD...was with me always... is with everyone...is everywhere... it is just that I had to accept him and trust him. Its hard to belive and accpet simple things in life that we tend to make them complex and that was what exactly happened with me. I was searching for GOD everywhere thinking he is someone who is difficult to find out and will be visible only for the deserved ones. But I managed to find him and accept him. Yes I could see him everywhere, in everyting, in every person around me, in every good thing around me, in you, in me.
Now, I do belive in GOD. But I have a different name for my god,
I call him conscience!